kids say

I like very much when kids say ridiculous things. I like it so much that I’ve been keeping a list. Enjoy.

Welcome to the Boys and Girls and Zombies Club

  • Third-grade girl: “Tell me about your crushes.”
    Seventh-grade girl: “His name was Nfume, and we were five.”
  • Me: “This graham cracker broke. Quick—eat it and destroy the evidence!”
    Fourth-grade girl: “I watched Law and Order last night. Eating would be a bad way to destroy that evidence.”
  • Fifth-grade girl, to another fifth-grade girl she saw from behind: “Oh, I thought you were Kelly, you’re so tall!”
    To me: “I mean, for her age….You’re not tall.”
  • Fourth-grade girl, to me: “How old are you?”
    Me: “23.”
    Fourth-grade girl: “No.”
  • Kid, to me:  “Did you do your hair yourself?”
    Me: “Yes I did.”
    Kid: “Are you 12?”
  • Kid 1: “That’s an awful shirt.”
    Kid 2: “You must’ve looked in the mirror.”
    Kid 1: “That’s a really bad comeback.”
    Kid 2: “You’re a really bad comeback.”
  • Kid 1: “We should have juice sometime for snack.”
    Kid 2: “We should have juice sometime!”
    Kid 3: “We should let LOOSE sometime!” (Breaks into rendition of ‘Footloose.’)
  • Sixth-grade girl: “Who’s Adam and Eve? Is that like a movie or something?”
    Her best friend: “You’re an idiot.”
  • Kid 1: “His middle name is Thomas, and my middle name is Thomas…”
    Kid 2: “That doesn’t mean you’re RELATED!”
  • All the kids: “What if Kelly’s secretly a gangster?”
  • “A kid in my class is FBI’s most wanted.”
  • “I love Lady Gaga. She’s my biggest fan.”
  • “No, these are my casual jeggings.”
  • “You know what’s awesome? Alpacas. They just stand there all day like, ‘I think I’m an alpaca.’”
  • “What’s that song, you know, like, We die young, we set ourselves on fire?”
  • “People down south always ask me if I have a pet polar bear. I’ve just started saying yes. Yes I do. I call him Steve. I have a penguin too, but we have to keep him on a leash. He likes to eat hats.”
  • “I wish I lived someplace cold.”

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